NO MORE - Flash Fiction


 

It was over. She stared at the silent phone in her hands and couldn't believe it. He had dumped her because, well, she didn't exactly know why he had dumped her, only that he was no longer her boyfriend. She placed the phone in the passenger seat of her car as she remained in the driver's seat, staring ahead at nothing. What was it he had told her? Oh yes - that it wasn't her but him, that he was walking away, and that he was sorry. She touched her face; still no tears, she thought. Damn. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and then, strangely enough, smiled a warm smile. She smiled because today was the day that she told herself - NO MORE. No more allowing people to walk all over her. No more allowing yet another loser to waltz into her life, only to disappear when they couldn't handle a relationship longer than three months. No more doubting herself. No more holding herself back. No more chasing everything and everyone with more than a dash of desperation. NO MORE. She leaned back in her seat and felt herself get a little lightheaded. Was it really time to change, she wondered. Was this the moment when all of the answers would come to her in a rush of emotions? She held her breath and waited for that momentous period to occur, only instead she heard a soft sigh deep within her. It's time, a voice said within her soul, to stop living this shell of a life. It's time for you to ask yourself - what do you want? What do you need? Who are you? I honestly don't know, she replied out loud then laughed. Great, I'm talking to myself. She fell silent and waited. The voice came again - Why are you living small? She blinked several times and glanced around. Okay, she said, I definitely heard that. She looked at her phone's blank screen, expecting some kind of text or message to suddenly appear. When nothing came, she pushed her seat back and reclined. What are you waiting for? I'm waiting for approval, she replied. I'm waiting for someone to notice me and validate me. And what if that someone you're waiting for is you? Then, damn it, I'm wasting time. She moved her seat up and placed her hands on the steering wheel. I'm waiting, she said hesitantly, for me. Welcome, the voice sighed, to the first step. She grabbed her phone and got out of the car, then walked into her house. Seconds later, the sounds of Steely Dan floated through the house as she pulled out her discarded manuscripts and began to carefully read through them. It was time to bring herself to life. 



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