Eccentric Tea Woman

 I had no idea it would be like this. The way he looked at me, my immediate response whether I liked it or not, and the fact that I would always be his. It wasn't supposed to be like the books I used to devour, those cute romance titles with pastel-coloured covers and titles that were so sweet and innocent that they made my fillings hurt. If he read my mind, he would have laughed, then held me in his arms and proceeded to tell me that no, I would never be free from him and yes, his love was real. I had given up smoking when I met him that one evening when I didn't want to go home because I knew what awaited me there - loneliness, despair, and a manuscript that silently screamed at me - come back to me, come back and finish what you started! Instead, I sat in a small bar with my nearly empty pack of cigarettes, my one beer that I nursed, and an invisible barrier that blocked anyone from speaking to me. I liked being unapproachable. I liked looking as though I would scratch your

  This is a lesson that I just learned.  This morning began like so many mornings: wake up, play with the dog, look at the games on my phone, make tea, talk with my boyfriend, scroll through social media. Every time that I look at Instagram on my phone, I flick the screen with my thumb and give out likes to posts that appeal to me or have a pleasing/funny/insightful aesthetic. Once I've exhausted the list, I get dressed and jump-start into the day. However, by the time I "liked" my third post, I stopped and looked up from my phone. Something had dawned on me that I wasn't proud of and I had no idea that I had done it for so long. I liked posts without even looking at them. I didn't give the post more than five seconds of my attention before I went to the next one. I've been working on my mindfulness/meditation practices lately and the difference has been quietly astounding. I allowed my mind to settle before I looked at what I was doing. Millions of people use

Tea Muse    Me: (listening to the sounds of birds in my office while writing) Frederica: (sitting on a cushion with eyes closed as she's also listening to the birds) Tea Muse: (looking at both of us while floating in midair) Have you two reached enlightenment yet? Me and Frederica: Shhhh. Tea Muse: (grumbling) Fine, I guess I'll meditate too. (sits in a crosslegged position in midair and closes her eyes)  The birds chirp for another ten minutes, then the session ends with a light tap on a piece of wood.  Me: (looking at my journal) Another good session of journaling! Frederica: (opening her eyes and stretching) Another good session of breathwork! Tea Muse: (quiet and still in her meditation pose) Me: Hey, we're done with -  Tea Muse: Shhhh. Not done yet. Frederica: (shrugging) I guess it's her turn to be enlightened.  Tea Muse: (sighing) Senchaaa....... Frederica

  This morning, I woke up to learn that I man I'd never heard of had died. Luis Vasquez of the band The Soft Moon had passed. A Goth band that I love made a post about his passing today, and when I looked at his band's profile on Instagram, I read many comments from people who mourned his passing, plus acknowledged how much they loved his music. I located his website and listened to several of his songs, then got angry at the fact that I wished I had known of his music sooner. If you're into post-punk, Goth/Industrial, or music that speaks to your soul, you need to give The Soft Moon a listen. While listening to the song Nada, my mind began to wander in a good way. I thought about highly talented artists like him, as well as indie authors, singer-songwriters, artists, dancers, and everyone else who has a creative backbone. Do they get the recognition they deserve? Are people seeking them out through word of mouth or by discovering their talents online? In being the owner of

  a woman stared at me -  twice -  as I walked by her to get some water. I wanted to ask, does my presence disturb you? Instead, I fell silent because there is a greater  mystery to discover. one within ourselves. then again, maybe she  just needed water. 

  Finally, she said, I am ready to see the colours. She closed her eyes and opened her heart to the inner world that patiently  waited for her. It started slowly, mostly because  of the screaming winds outside. She saw those winds, saw who created them  in her mind, and with a flick of her paint-stained fingers, they disappeared. Was it really that easy, she wondered. All the years I allowed them to consume pieces of my soul. A voice, neutral in tone, asked - why are you still living so small? Her eyes opened in surprise as the truth was laid out before her. The colors lingered, knowing that there was more. She took her soul into her hands.  Now I am whole, I said.  Viridian Tea Company - Tea, Books, Art, & Photography! Click HERE for the Etsy store link!

  Hello, 2024! It's good to see you after enduring the ups and downs of 2023. Wow, that was some year. But, here you are, ready to go and ready to show us what you've got in store. I've been doing some thinking, meditating, and journaling, and I've come up with some plans of my own. No resolutions but more just reminders about not only this new year but also my life: Meditation has been a good friend to me for quite some time. I remember how the first time I did it, I thought that it was kooky. Once I completed my first session (listening to Cory Muscara), I felt something I had never felt before - a moment of slowing down and reflecting. When I decided to make a huge shift in my life, meditation came with me, held my hand, and said - you've got this. I'm here for you, but you've got this. My meditation practice has taken on new forms, but the message is still the same: get back to the breath. Holding onto regrets doesn't do anyone any good. I have sev

  I feel softer now -  more laid back ever since I removed my bones. Pesky and hard, holding me back from dancing like a banshee.  Except now, the dance refuses to come. I sit on the floor, covered in cobwebs, and wonder - perhaps I got it all wrong. Maybe the assholes who yelled and manipulated me really had the key to a better life. The cobwebs tickle my eyes and I remember, yes yes, I did walk away because they refused to sneeze. I stand on my soft feet and glide around like a leaf with the knowledge that there is another way to live. Their horrific stares disappear the more I am honest with myself. I can feel my heart beating; not desperate (finally) but grateful. There are no windows here, thank the gods. I want to view myself fresh, naked, whole, finally fucking alive. My words. My soul. My view of the world is validated by the dreams made real through the dust of those long ago who tried to change me. Viridian Tea Company - Tea, Books, Art, & Photography! Click HERE for th