Eccentric Tea Woman

 ( The Sin of Abbe Mouret tells the story of a priest who loses his memory while struggling with a fever. During this time, he falls in love with his nurse, Albine, and the two become like Adam and Eve in the Paradou. This piece is my interpretation of what happens to Albine after the forbidden event) I am a flower. I am many flowers. I open my mouth and flowers fall from my red rose lips. They dribble down my shirt, down my skirt that covers not enough, and land on my dirty feet. I look up and see the flowers before me, surrounding me, beneath me, above me. They silently move toward me with a desire to create a new home for me. The home I used to have was ruined by him. He who loves me best. I told him that I had his child and he laughed at me. I ran from him because I couldn't bear his hypocritical laugh. The flowers saw me and took me in. They tell me that I never have to leave again. You shall never be harmed, they whisper through the bees that pollinate them. You shall be love

  Whitman tapped me on the shoulder and told me that I needed  to get over it. Why is everyone so miserable, he asked. You have it all and still you cry because it is  never enough. I looked into those old eyes (he was right, even for a dead poet) and made him a cup of tea. Well now, he said, perhaps you have made a new step. We sipped our sencha in silence among the leaves of grass. Viridian Tea Company - Strange and Unusual Tea Blends! Click HERE for the Etsy store link!

  drinking coffee for the 1827th time. a promise made by way of neutral glances. I want to remember this moment - here and now -  and understand that it is not fleeting by like they told us it would. coffee, hazelnut, and milk to remind me of this moment. you had nowhere to be as did I. the snow muffled every sound. a small sip that burned my tongue. your hand, resting on mine.  Viridian Tea Company - Strange and Unusual Tea Blends! Click HERE for the Etsy store!

  I am a lover of Renaissance Festivals. I love the idea of traveling back in time and enjoying a day filled with joust matches, turkey legs, and being serenaded by a man dressed as Don Quixote (that really happened). One year, I went to the Georgia Renaissance Festival with someone who had never been to one. I was more than happy to show them a part of my weird world. I dressed in somewhat period clothing, yet as I was putting on my cloak in the hotel lobby, this person told me to not put it on "because people were looking at me". Although I didn't let it ruin my day, those words did bother me for years. I used to always wonder if people were looking at me and thinking - She's SO weird! She's such a freak! Black girls don't act like THAT! Why is she trying to act white??? I heard those statements for so long that I refused to show any kind of joy at anything that was strange and unusual. How my enjoying a Harry Potter movie caused a guy I was dating at the t

  For the longest time, it was a given that you should always put others before yourself. You should take care of others. Family comes first, no matter what. For the longest time, I believed those words - I would always come second, third, or even way way in the back. I tried to help others and I noticed something - the more I helped others, the sicker I felt. The more I put everyone else before me, the more my anxiety would beat me down. I took in everyone else's problems and made them my own. Years later, after removing toxic elements from my life, I discovered myself. I sat in a chair in a room in a house in a place that I had ignored. I looked down and noticed that I had a teacup filled with tea in my hands. I took a sip of the tea, smiled, and then felt the warmth coursing through my body. I drank more of the tea and remained quiet. After so many years of taking care of others, I wanted to take of myself now. I set my teacup in my hands and noticed ripples in the tea. I got up

  (photo by Kimberly B. Richardson)   There are no walls here. Freedom is abundant, for a Price, to the highest bidder. The poor must stand outside And only imagine the clean Air, thinking it to be like Heaven, their collective sighs Garnish praise from the Wealthy and their wide Open spaces. This is unbalanced But balance has gone extinct Around here, something that ran Rampant but crushed under The heel of Evolution, if You believe that sort of Thing.

  Waiting and waiting and waiting. I absolutely hate to wait on anything. When I push myself to go faster, quicker, speedier, my anxiety boils up and suddenly, I'm in the middle of a panic attack. Have you ever gone through a panic attack? They feel like having a heart attack. One moment, you're tensing up because the person driving behind you is right on your bumper, even though you're in the slow lane, then the next moment you're suddenly breathing as though you've just run a marathon and your vision is blurry and you have a headache. Welcome to not waiting. I'm tired of feeling that way. I'm tired of people rushing all around me - hurry up, hurry up ! I now slow down, actually stop, and look around. I look around at the miserable faces, the people who need everything NOW! The people who yell at retail workers because they had to wait five minutes to get their item in a bag. The people who will fly by you and then give you the finger because how DARE you f

  One day, it wasn't safe any longer. As much as I didn't want to believe it, the truth of it all stared at me in the face, daring me to blink. Michael was no longer my lover. I sat on my couch and repeated that sentence over and over - Michael was no longer my lover . We both had the same choice, yet as I declined and faced the consequences, Michael said yes. Now, he would live for the full moon and dream of warm blood filling his mouth. I would stay in my crypt among the other dead and dream of taking a breath again. I will admit, however, that the other dead welcomed me most graciously. They told me that just because I didn't breathe any longer didn't mean that I give up on my creative life. Thank goodness I was buried in a necropolis rather than some forgotten plot. I digress. Michael was no longer my lover, my boyfriend, my future. He and I were supposed to get married but instead, a creature with massive fangs and ebon coloured fur broke into the church during our

Never again, she told herself as she finished off her second cup of sencha tea. She set the cup on the saucer, then wondered for a brief moment if perhaps she was doing the right thing. After all, she knew that once she made her decision, she could never go back. Honestly, wasn't that better than continuing to live in the middle of such a damn lie? Someone brushed against her shoulder as they left the teashop. She didn't even acknowledge them. They were a blip among the cosmos of unknown stars to her. Jennifer looked into her empty cup and thought - I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I can't believe that after five years, I'm finally returning to the world of writing. She took the cup in her hands and slowly swirled the dregs. Jennifer's mind returned to that day, that moment, when her mother proclaimed that her writing was a waste of time. She would never become a Stephen King, so why even bother? Even though Jennifer had published five books, all so

  The fear of the unknown. That's my biggest source of anxiety, one that I know will never fully go away. Even though I am handling my reactions better, I know that it will still affect me. And I hate it. I hate not knowing what will come next. I hate wondering late at night if the next day will bring doom and gloom. I used to wake up in the middle of the night, wondering if something I said or did YEARS ago would come back to bite me on the ass. Will that one act I committed years ago finally come back as my undoing? Did I really mean to move away from everything I knew, everything that was a part of my comfort zone? What will happen regarding this virus called COVID-19? What will I do if I can't make any money through my creative pursuits? This new guy in my life wants me to move in with him; what will happen if I do? Why did I move to Colorado, a state about which I knew nothing about? I don't know anyone here - what will happen if I can't make any new friends? What

 20 some odd years ago, I met an older guy through Myspace. He was a talented creative person and I enjoyed his works, as did many others. When he would acknowledge me, I thought it was really special, not to mention cool. Here was this guy whose life was the kind I wanted for myself, only I had no idea how to obtain said life. Also, I had no idea what I wanted for myself AT ALL. After some time had passed, I noticed that he mildly flirted with me, yet it didn't dawn on me until years later. Sometimes, I am truly aloof. What happened next took place over many years - I flirted back and he flirted more, only to disappear for a time. What a cycle that I craved in my life. I felt as though my heart was breaking, yet I never gave up on trying to talk with him. Hell, not even speak to me, but at least acknowledge me. Whenever I posted photos online, I hoped that he would comment on them. And yet, in looking back, I only received messages when he felt like it. Well, I finally met him and

 (my violin Frederica) Me: (hanging streamers from the windows) Are these crooked? I can't tell. Frederica: (adjusting her glasses and smiling) No, it's PERFECT! Here's some tape. Now, what time will she be returning home? Me: Not sure. She left in a huff, so who knows? Frederica: Well, when she returns home, she'll be delightfully surprised! Now then, I need to check on the Madeleines and make sure they aren't burnt.  Me: Heading out to get some more balloons!  MEANWHILE! Tea Muse: (finishing off her lunch, then sighing heavily as she sinks lower in her chair) Waiter: Do you need anything else? Tea Muse: (muttering) New friends would be nice.  Waiter: (smiling) Unfortunately, we don't have that on the menu.  Tea Muse: Thanks. I guess I'll just take the check. Hey . . . today's my birthday. Waiter: Really? Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Got any plans? Tea Muse: Well, I wanted to have lunch with my friends, but they were too caught up in reading to leave the house

  It was a day like any other - I had taken a break from work to talk with my boyfriend at the time. I knew he'd been with friends after a job interview. He had plans to return to his home city after being away from it for over ten years. I wanted to hear his voice, and my anxiety wanted to make sure that we were still cool with each other. Imagine my surprise when not only did he say that he was no longer interested in me, but he was telling me, "since so many guys flirt with you, why don't you pursue one of them?" I had told him that I met many men (and women) at sci-fi conventions while selling my books, and of course, many guys flirted with me. However, I wasn't interested in any of them because I was happy with my relationship. I couldn't believe what he was telling me, and twenty minutes later, I returned to work with tears streaming down my face. Years later, I wish I could tell him THANK YOU for what he did. Yes, he was afraid to continue the relations

  Several years ago, I was on a literary panel at a convention with a big name Steampunk author. I felt myself trembling a little as I approached my chair to his right. He looked at me with a somewhat sarcastic look and told me that he didn't bite. I still felt nervous though, mostly because I knew him to be such a big name and that I was a peon. Years later (now), I looked up his work and thought - this man was not a god. He was and still is an author. And guess what . . . so am I. I used to place so much value on certain people I knew of and befriended because I thought so little of myself. I thought that I would never be a famous photographer, a violinist, or a writer. Well. . . . here I am - Certified Tea Specialist, published author of over 15 books, and owner of a tea company. A violin student once more and an attendee of a death cafe. And many other hobbies and fascinations. And yes, I am worthy to enjoy all of those things in my life. Just like everyone else. My life has va

Having friends in your life is quite important. They can be a source of advice, comfort, laughter, good times, and a silent yet trustworthy partner. Yet, I learned some time ago that not everyone you call a friend SHOULD be a friend. For example, I've known people whose main purpose was to gaslight and deceive. Perhaps they were the ones who would only be your friend if you did things for them that they could do for themselves. Or, there were those who were only in my life to get me to make a change and then suddenly disappear. I used to wonder why those kinds of people were in my life until I realized that they were fulfilling a purpose that I didn't understand until years later. They were the ones who were the catalysts to bring about change. They were the ones who broke me free from my comfort zones and forced me to see a new side of Life. I read somewhere that everyone you meet is either a blessing or a lesson. It didn't dawn on me until recently that that statement was

  It finally dawned on me today - Money is not my life. Let me explain: for many years, there were certain people who constantly told me that I needed to save my money and that my life was nothing without money. And so, I believed them. One person in particular told me to save money every time they saw me, or at least it felt that way. And every time they told me to save my money, I told them that yes, I was doing just that. Except I wasn't. What I was doing was ruining my credit and spending money like it was water. For many years, I felt as though I never had enough to keep me afloat. Another person used to tell me that yes, money did make the world go round and I believed them as well. Fast forward to today - I knew that a bill was coming out of my account tomorrow and after that, my account would have a low balance. I thought to myself, "damn, I'll be broke for a day!" I then stopped and thought and thought and thought. I sat in my chair in my office and realized

 (Tea Muse art by Brittany Lewis ) Me: (reading a new book on the couch) Frederica: (reading the latest issue of The Strad magazine)  Tea Muse: I'm BORED! When are we doing another convention? Bubonicon was so much fun, especially with everyone enjoying the tea blends! Me: It's my day off, as well as yours. Enjoy it like we're doing!  Frederica: Yes, it's quite nice to get caught up on all my reading materials. (sipping her Earl Grey) Oh yes, quite nice.  Tea Muse: (grumbling) Reading is fun, but it's such a beautiful day today! Let's all go out for some hiking, or maybe go to a restaurant for a fancy lunch! Me: (lowering my book) Well, no one's stopping you. Go out and have fun! Frederica: (magazine covering her face) Yes. Do go.  Tea Muse: Argh! Fine! I'm leaving! (disappearing in a huff) Silence . . . . .  Me: (lowering my book) Coast clear? Frederica: (lowering her magazine) Coast is definitely clear.  Me: Fantastic! Now, I know that you and she hav

  Once upon a time . . . .  I was born into a world filled with myths and creatures too fantastic to describe. I longed to have tea with Hecate and fly with massive raven's wings. I learned the word WITCH through books and stories whispered in the winds. And I didn't want to believe any of it. People who met me thought me to be too much for the world and themselves, so they stripped me of myself. For years, I listened to everyone else tell me just who I was and I believed them. They told me I was a plaything, a passing fancy, a being to control. Those who had power tried to break and mold me into their idea of submission. Every time I showed myself, even a hint of it, it was met with curse words and more rules. I wept. I hated. I feared. One day, while sitting in a cluttered room, I heard something whisper to me - who are you? I closed my eyes as I smoked my cigarette and the words came again - who are you? I opened my eyes and answered back - I don't know but I'm wil

(photo by Kimberly B. Richardson)   It had been three months since I last saw her. My friend, the one who seemingly understood my nature. When I hugged her, it felt as though she'd never left. She welcomed me into her warehouse apartment, decorated in a style that mingled quiet modern with fantastic bohemian. Flashes of colour flew around the brick walls while soft neutrals lingered in the corners, not wishing to be acknowledged. We sat down to a pot of green tea she had picked up in Paris, plus a plate of pistachio macarons. When I looked into her eyes as she talked about her latest adventure, I felt pure and good-natured envy. I wanted to pack up a tattered suitcase and set off for the world like she had done. I wanted to visit the bookstores that were older than time, drink tea in cafes, and take photos of cultures that lingered on the dreamlike. Instead, I sipped my tea like a good little suppressed man and listened. And listened. And listened. She spoke of how she spent a full

  (photo art by J.W. Bullard) Across the wide mouth of water Sat my beloved ready for me. My eyes focused on his out-of-focus face And knew that it was over. The water rippled a thin oil sheen, Casting an ill rainbow to the bottom. I wish, therefore, it must not be real. My lines, he told me later, consist Of murky reed pulled from too far. I am too far gone to reconcile with you, You who sit across the lake, filled With prayers that fall below. Viridian Tea Company - Strange and Unusual Tea Blends! Click HERE for the Etsy store link!  

 (Tea Muse artwork by Brittany Lewis) And so it begins . . . .  Tea Muse: (hiding behind a bookcase) Heh heh . . .  Frederica: (walking to her room, only to get a water balloon filled with cold tea splattered on her face) I say! Really! Ugh! (running to her room and slamming the door) The next day . . .  Frederica: (pointing to the notes on the sheet) Okay, here we go, and Open A and hold it! Me: (playing the open a on my violin) Frederica: Now, try this part by yourself. You've shown so much progress. Me: Thanks! (squinting my eyes as I play the notes) Tea Muse: (suddenly appearing) Sounds good! Lemme try! (taking the violin from me, sticking it under her chin, and proceeds to play Paganini's 24 Caprices)  Frederica: (mouth hanging open) Me: (mouth hanging open) Tea Muse: (stops playing) What? Oh, here ya go. (returns my violin and then goes upstairs) And still the next day . . .  Tea Muse: (taking a long shower while singing off key, only to scream as a snake falls into the

 (Tea Muse art by Brittany Lewis ) Me: (wide-eyed) Wait . . . you're my NEW Muse? (looking at Tea Muse) But, SHE'S my Muse! Frederica: (calmly sipping her tea) That's true, but now you have a new one. You can have more than one, you know.  Tea Muse: Yeah, homegirl here is all about the tea and I have that quite covered!  Frederica: (looking at her as though she was a child) Oh my dear, hasn't your human started a new hobby? One that she's quite proud of?  Me: (looking at Tea Muse while she looks at me) Ohhhh yeah! The violin! Frederica: Splendid! (teacup disappears) Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, which room is mine? Tea Muse: (hands on her hips) Okay, okay, I get the fact that you're here to represent the violin and all, but there's NO way you're living here!  Frederica: (folds hands in her lap) I see. (purses lips tightly) I feel as though someone might be expressing a bit of the green-eyed monster.  Tea Muse: Matcha? Frederica: (s