Lesson Learned - Pedestals

 

This was a lesson that I learned today. Damn.

For quite some time, I wondered why I couldn't let go of several events that occurred in my past. So, I returned to therapy and delved into several parts of myself that were in serious need of healing. It's been quite a journey and I've learned quite a bit about myself. However, while cleaning the house this morning, I stumbled upon a major discovery. Bear with me for a moment. There were certain people in my life whom I no longer speak to and whenever I thought about our fallouts, I felt ashamed and angry. I tried my best to figure out the reasons for their behaviour and mine but I couldn't put my finger on it. Today, I realized that I had been putting people on pedestals and feeling horrible when they came crashing down. How could they, these people I thought could do no wrong, turn into such assholes, manipulators, and petty ass people? How could they engage in such behaviours, when I had clearly thought the absolute best of them? My answer was this - because they are HUMAN. You know how they say to never meet your idols? So true. When I learned that an actor I idolized was a jerk to his fans, I immediately stopped liking him. When I discovered that a photographer and musician I liked a lot was a flake and shallow, I realized that he was human. When a woman who I thought was a friend turned out to really despise me and talk about me behind my back instead of engaging in a conversation with me, I realized that I was never a friend of hers to begin with. When men who I no longer wanted to talk with cursed me out and pulled up things from my past, I smiled, told myself that yes I really was a schmuck and made amends, and carried on with my life. When I learned that a particular person went from treating me as a golden child to a scapegoat, I silently forgave them and went on with my life. I'm not saying that humans are perfect, and neither am I saying that we are spawns of the Devil. We are HUMAN. We make gross mistakes, and we also make wonderful magick happen. We are faulty and we are (hopefully) blessed with gratitude and understanding of not only ourselves but of the world around us. Will everyone like us? Nope. Will we like everyone? Nope. But one thing that we can do is to stop being horribly offended when someone f*cks up, or when they talk about us behind our backs, or when they dump us because they were the ones who were scared, or when a so-called friend ghosts us when they start dating. We are human. We will make mistakes repeatedly. I am no better than anyone else, and no one is better than me. Someone may have more money than me, or a bigger house, or whatever, but they are still human. As am I. Tear down the pedestals. 

Lesson Learned Big Time. 

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