Stories From the Tea Realms - The Teapot of the Monkey King

Once upon a time, or so the Mystics claim, a Tea Traveler stole the teapot of the Monkey King.

Wait, sorry about that. That's not a story.

THIS is the story. . . .

One day, I received a summons to visit the Monkey King who ruled the Cloud Jungle within the Tea Realms. Rather than be excited to visit a new area, I instead felt a bit apprehensive. The Monkey King was known to be quite the prankster. I knew I couldn't refuse such a request, so I packed my belongings and was soon on my way. As I traveled along on foot, my mind wondered as to why he would specifically ask for me. Did he hear that my stories were the best among the Tea Travelers, or perhaps my Tea was quite refreshing? When I left the capital city and arrived at the desert, I purchased a camel for the duration of my travels. I knew that it would take me about a day and a night to travel through the desert, and so a camel was much needed, unless if I chose one of those flying carpets so prized by the wild Tea Merchants.

Thankfully, I chose a good camel, for it almost seemed to run through the desert without any concern for the heat or the endless miles of sand. I barely felt a bump in our travels, and so decided to continue my research of the wily Monkey King in my travelogue. I learned that although he was master of the Cloud Jungle, he and his citizens couldn't leave the jungle. When the sun gave way to night, my camel (I decided to name him Luther) and I settled down for a good night's rest. When I awoke, I found that Luther was up and staring at me with a look that said - It's about time you got up! I laughed as I got ready, then we were off again. By the time the sun was directly over us, the temperature began to slowly drop. Luther and I looked around and noticed that more and more greenery began to replace the sands. Soon, low hanging clouds and tall thin trees welcomed us as we entered the Cloud Jungle. Birds of every kind greeted us with their sweet cries, or shrill caws, or even some sounds I'd never heard of before. Despite the fact that we were in a jungle, the temperature was very pleasant and I found myself wondering if I should have brought a coat. Just then, the jungle fell silent, causing Luther to stop. He turned his massive head to look right at me, so I replied, "Don't know. Think I'll have a look." Luther lowered himself to the ground as I slid off. My head turned this way and that, trying to look for anything that moved within the massive leaves of the trees or the tall grasses. I turned back to face Luther with a shrug, then turned back around to find a small monkey seated before me. It stared at me so I stared back, then it slowly got up on its legs and bowed low.
"Welcome to the Cloud Jungle," he said with a heavily accented voice. "Our King knows of your arrival. Please, follow me." Luther got up on his legs as I took his reins while the jungle returned to life once more. The monkey, seeing that we were indeed following him, walked along at a somewhat fast pace. Even though the grasses were high, we were still able to follow him. We walked by a waterfall that emptied its contents into a pool of water so clear, I could see the rocks and every fish below. Flowers of unusual colours gently moved, giving off their exotic yet pleasing scents. I felt I was truly dreaming - never before had I ever visited a place like this, even though the Tea Realms extends several universes.

We finally reached a massive clearing, and I was able to see a rather large area consisting of small thatch houses on stilts. When we reached the entrance, I saw primates of every shape and colour walking or ambling along. Suddenly, they all stopped and focused their attention on us.
"They have heard the stories of the Tea Travelers," our guide told us, "and so it is quite an honour that you said yes to our King's invitation." The monkey then walked along with us right behind him. As we walked into the city, the primates parted, giving us more than ample room to walk through. I waved at several, and they waved back with much screeches and howls. Soon, we arrived at a large thatch house on stilts. I tied Luther's rein to the side post, then followed my guide up the stairs. We walked into a quite lavish general room with furniture made out of thatch as well. My guide advised me to sit in one of the chairs, then scampered off while I waited. I was beyond nervous yet remained calm. Someone beat a gong and two orangutans stepped into the room and stood on either side of the door. I stood up just as a rather tall golden lion marmoset wearing a small crown strolled into the room. I bowed low and said, "Thank you for the invitation, great King." I raised up and saw that the King wore a wide grin on his face.
"At last," he said in a surprisingly deep voice, "a Tea Traveler comes to visit our corner of the Realms! It is I who am honoured!" He grabbed my hand and shook it so hard that I thought it was going to fall off. He then clapped me on the shoulder and replied, "Please, prepare some Tea. I wish to see your magick!" I bowed low again as the King asked one of his servants to gather my things from Luther outside. They quickly returned and set everything before me. I thanked them then clapped my hands twice. My belongings sprung to life, causing the servants to screech, yet the King remained quiet as he stared with fascination. My table popped up, fully covered with a blue cloth, followed by a teapot, two cups, and five different kinds of Tea. Two chairs finally appeared, and I pulled out one of them for the King. He scurried into it and banged his hands on my table, eagerly waiting for me to begin.

As I scooped some Tea into the teapot, I said, "What story would you like to hear first, oh great King?" The Monkey King tapped his chin with his hand, then replied, "Tell me about you, Traveler." I nodded yes then finished making the Tea. As it steeped, I told my story - where I came from, how I became a Tea Traveler, and even about my husband, the God of the Dreaming, and our child. The Monkey King howled with laughter as he said, "You married a God?! How wonderful! Does he sleep in the clouds?" I replied no with a smile, then poured out the Tea. I offered him his cup and watched as he sniffed it. "It smells like a rainy day," he replied and I nodded. I took my cup, blew on it three times, then took a sip. The Monkey King followed suit. After we finished our first cup, the Monkey King asked if I liked to play games. When I replied yes with a sense of wariness, he replied as he rubbed his hands together, "Good! We shall play my favourite game of YOU." When I told him that I'd never heard of the game, his smile grew even wider. "Ah," he said, "it's quite easy. I tell you to do something, and then you tell me to do something. The first person who can't do something is the loser!" He narrowed his eyes at me and continued, "If you lose, then you must stay here forever as my wife. If I lose, then you can take whatever you want from me and leave."
"I must stay with you?" I asked. The King nodded. "Suppose I don't want to play, sire?"
"If you don't play," he said in a low tone, "then you are forbidden to make Tea for a year." He howled and howled as his servants howled as well.
"Alright," I said, "let's play."


We started the game on the next day. I woke up to a beautiful morning in my quite comfortable room, only to begin thinking about the game. I got dressed and made my way downstairs, where the servants had breakfast ready for me in the dining hall. The King was already there, eating some fruit. When he saw me, he exclaimed, "Let the game BEGIN!"
"Wait," I cried out, "may I please have breakfast first, sire?"
"Oh very well," the King said with a sigh as a servant brought a plate filled with fruit, eggs, and bread. I took my time in eating, mostly to annoy the King, and also to give myself time. How in the world could I get out of this game?, I thought as I chewed. When I finished, the King ordered me to make some Tea. I clapped my hands twice. As I prepared a new blend, he said, "I shall go first, seeing as how I'm the King. I order YOU to dance on the table!" He howled with laughter and for a moment, I wondered if this would be the extent of the game. I slowly got on top of the table and began to dance a dance I learned from the Silk Dragons. The King watched, as did the servants, my every move that seemed impossible for a human woman to do. Finally, I jumped down and sat in my chair, then took a sip from my cup.
"Good job," the King said with a grin. "Pass me my cup and now it's your turn." I handed him his cup then replied, "I ask YOU to swing from the chandelier!"
The King guffawed, "That's what I do anyway!," then leapt into the air and caught the chandelier with his toes as his crown fell to the ground. He swung back and forth and I found myself smiling at him. He then did a double flip and landed in his chair, then picked up his crown and gently placed it on his head.
"My turn," he said as he sipped his tea. "I order YOU to eat this!" He slapped his hand on the table and a servant appeared bearing a covered tray. I gulped loudly, wondering what in the world was under the cover. The servant set the tray before me, then raised the lid. I almost fainted  - a small bowl of ants!
"Ants?" I whispered. "Live ants?"
"Come come now," the King said in a cool tone, "if we can eat them . . . so should you." He leaned across the table as he watched me slowly pick up a spoon. I dug into the writhing mass . . .
The King and his servants began to laugh as they watched me try not to get sick. I steadily ate while not looking into the bowl. After some time had passed, I looked down to see that yes!, I had eaten them all. I set the spoon on the side and said while burping, "My turn." The King leaned back and clapped. "I ask YOU to slap your servants!" The King lost his smile as he looked around at his servants.
"Slap . . .them?" he asked. I grinned, despite feeling sick from eating those ants.
"Yes. Slap them. Now." The King slowly got up and walked over to his first servant. SLAP! I leaned back in my chair and watched him slap every one of them, then return to his chair with a less than confident look on his face.
"That wasn't fair," he said sadly. "I like my servants."
"If you can make me eat ants," I replied, "then I can make you slap your servants."
The King nodded then replied, "Alright then, my turn. I order YOU to steal something from the town!" I looked at the King and knew that he was up to something.
"I can not steal," I said. "It's against my code." I crossed my arms.
"Code, schmode," the King replied. "I order you to steal, or would you rather be Tea-less?" I didn't want that to happen. I slowly got up, then grinned. I had to act quickly. I saw the item I wanted to steal, so I snapped my fingers twice. Suddenly, a teapot shaped like a monkey appeared in my hand.
"You can't steal that!" the King screamed as he made a lunge for me. I side stepped and watched as he crashed to the floor. "Seize her!" I shrunk the tea pot and slid it into one of my pockets, then raced through the palace and outside as his servants followed. I jumped on top of Luther, who had thankfully untied himself from the side post (still don't know how he did that), then we raced through the town toward the exit. I heard the King bellow, "Seize her! Don't let her escape!" The citizens raced after me with screeches and howls, yet we were faster. As we approached the entry, I saw two ape guards attempting to close the doors on us!
"Luther!" I screamed as he suddenly raced faster than ever. Just as the doors closed, Luther sprung into the air and cleared the doors! We landed on the other side safely and I patted Luther on the head, only to see that the citizens were climbing over the walls toward us! We turned and raced off as the jungle grew louder in noise. I could even hear the Monkey King screaming for me to be returned. I lowered my head and prayed that we would somehow escape. I looked up at one point to see primates swinging from the trees as they pursued us with blind fury. One ape swinging from a thick vine tried to grab me off my camel, yet I ducked just in time. Thankfully, Luther knew his direction, for we began to see more sand dunes and less greenery. When the heat of the sand welcomed our faces, we stopped and turned around to see that the primates from the city could not venture any further. The King with his lopsided crown, hung from one of the trees and watched me with something close to sadness.
"Thank you for the game and the hospitality," I said with a grin as we turned and returned home.

And that is how I stole the teapot from the Monkey King.

PS - I actually returned the teapot later, and the King was not angry with me. He said that we played a good game and that I was welcome to return anytime. I politely declined.