Lesson Learned - You're So . . . SENSITIVE


 

To this day, the song "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg makes me want to cry. I remember how when I was younger, just hearing the first notes would start up the waterworks. I couldn't explain it to people; I just knew that that song made me cry. Other songs had that same effect on me and I wondered if there was something truly wrong with me. I also noticed how gory/horror films made me physically ill (I threw up once after watching The Exorcist) and lingered in my mind for days. I couldn't sleep for fear that SOMETHING was going to get me. I can spend hours viewing a piece of art, picturing the artist and their process. The scent of an almond croissant sends me over the moon and I find it hard to come down to earth. And don't get me started on my love of TEA. Whenever I couldn't let go of a thought that was from an ill source, I had many people tell me to "just get over it" and "you're being so sensitive". As much as I wanted to let go of the bad memory in question, I also found that I couldn't. The more I wanted to forgive and forget, the more it returned to my mind and cast doubt upon me. 

One day, when I decided that I had enough of giving out pieces of my life to everyone and claimed it all back, I did some research and came across the term Highly Sensitive Person. As I read the description, the pieces suddenly clicked together and my behaviour made a lot of sense. No wonder certain songs made me cry, or I felt emotions deeper than others. Why I couldn't quickly "let go" of matters. Why I needed downtime after spending several days around people or at events. Why someone used to always get angry with me whenever I would go silent. I remember that I kept telling this person that I was fine and that I just wanted some quiet, but that would always make them ask me again and again if I was okay. Why I was overly stimulated so easily, especially when it came to matters of a creative nature. I also discovered the term Extroverted Introvert and thought to myself, "Well damn, I'm not the only one!" I don't do well with small talk, because I want meaningful conversations. I want to know whatever I can about a person, not the weather. I love getting lost in a book and later telling the world about what I experienced. I cry whenever I hear the piece The Passing of the Elves from the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack. Okay, maybe THAT one is because I want to live in Middle Earth . . . but I digress LOL. It's okay that I feel the world in a different, deeper, and more colourful way than others. 

I am glad that I am wired the way that I am. I am glad that I get inspired just by waking up to a new day. And when someone tells me to "just get over it", I smile and do it on my own terms. I am glad that yes, I am sensitive. Yes, I am an extroverted introvert. Yes, I am glad to be me. And yes, I hope you are glad to be you. 


Lesson Learned. 




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