Adventures With My Tea Muse - ENEMY END?

 


(artwork by Brittany Lewis - prints and Tea Muse Herbal Tisane are available in the VTC Etsy store!)


Me: (holding my breath, waiting for the next part of Tea Muse's story)

Tea Muse: You need to breathe. You're turning blue. 

Me: SIGH!

Tea Muse: (laughing) Anyway . . . .  The Bean was once known as Theodore Bean. His parents were scientists who loved to read books and drink massive amounts of coffee. When little Theodore was born, they didn't give him milk but rather coffee! BLACK!

Me: GASP!

Tea Muse: I know, right? Anyway, that little child grew up on a steady diet of coffee and books. There's nothing wrong with either until you go overboard with them. Such was the case of Bean. He loved coffee so much that he couldn't think of anything else. He flew through school and college and grad school with top grades. His intelligence was off the charts! By the time he was 30, he had succeeded in obtaining a PhD and was now traveling the world to hunt down rare coffee beans. 

Me: And? Did he find any rare coffee beans?

Tea Muse: Actually, and this is the part for the dramatic music, he discovered something else. He discovered the ability to exchange his blood for coffee.

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

Me: (rubbing my chin) I see. 

Tea Muse: But that's not all of it. He actually conducted the transplant and IT WORKED! So much so that it made him completely crazy! By this time, his parents realized what they had done and tried to stop him. However, he saw them as old and feeble and . . . 

Me: AND???

Tea Muse: He froze his parents, ground them up, and then BREWED THEM!

Me: The horror! 

Tea Muse: When I first learned about him, I knew I had a formidable enemy on my hands. I also knew that I had to stop him - you see, that's his thing. To dehydrate people and then grind them into a form of powder to be brewed. The Bean thinks that coffee should rule the world and that tea is nothing more than tepid salad water* (author's note - someone actually said this to me. we are not friends anymore.) I escaped from his clutches and honestly thought he would disappear. Stupid me. (shrugging her shoulders) So yes, I have a nemesis, one that needs to be brought to justice!

Me: (leaping from my chair) Alright, let's go get him! 

Tea Muse: Are you sure you want to start a new life in fighting crime? Battling coffee-fueled maniacs who grind up people for their espresso machines?

Me: Yes. Yes I do.

Tea Muse: Alright, partner. Stand back! (a greenish glow covers Tea Muse and when it dissipates, she's wearing a green tea coloured superhero outfit) FOR THE LEAF!


Somewhere in an underground coffee house, a man is seated at a table, hunched over a mug of blacker than night coffee. With a shaking hand, he lifts the mug to his chapped lips, takes a long sip, then sighs as he sets it on the table again. Everyone else in the coffee house leaves him alone. Suddenly, he raises his face to the ceiling and cackles like a madman!



Welcome to the prequel of Tea Muse - The Leaf of JUSTICE! There will be more to come!



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